A letter from Gary Guillemot

Humans,

Congratulations. You have arrived at the midterm election of oblivion, and what an oblivion it’s been. Human intelligence seems to be in short supply and is being replaced by whatever it is that insists on “helping” me with this draft. The current regime has managed not only to fail at everything they try to do, but fail in the way that causes maximum pain for everyone under the billionaire class, while doing maximum damage to the country’s reputation, the people, the planet, and the economy—and still around one in three people are “in favor”. On top of all that, maple syrup got expensive.

There’s never been a finer time to have salt water between us and the rest of the country, not that it’s stopped ICE from disappearing someone at the Langley laundromat. Still, you, fine voter, have a say over three particularly ugly initiatives and a host of elections on our fair islands. Your choices last time have enabled our far-from-perfect state to resist and be a sanctuary where it can.

Maybe we can do more than “resist”. Maybe we can be competent and show a good path forward for everyone.

Thus, you have arrived at the midterm-oblivion Guillemot Guide. We hope you enjoy it. Make your choices carefully, hold your leaders accountable, and don’t forget to enjoy a nice slimy fish once in a while. And for heaven’s sake, keep your boats out of the way of the ferries — and the orcas.

Good luck.

—Gary Guillemot